Saturday, January 6, 2007

Daily Dose

Even the holidays can't bring an end to my daily medications. This morning, rather than lay them on a simple table, I had to lay them out on a golden tablecloth. Theoretically, if I were to stop taking them, I'd die, at some point soon. I am at a pretty common age to die prior to the modern medical age. So, thank God for the modern medical age. Now if they can just find out what currently has me knocked on my behind for so many moonths. Only the pain killers seem to help with my daily fight, but rather than mask the problem, I want to conquer it. I want to see my daughter married and my grandchildren. I have much work to do before giving in to some disease. I will take anything that will keep me here and keep me vital--I won't like it but I'll do it. I want to see my children prosper and be happy. I want to be able to be there for them like I have always tried to be.


julieunplugged said...

I like that you recorded this fact of life. We have heard about your long term illness and wish you all the best as you get back to your healthy self.


Ampersand said...

Hey dirk, I just took a picture the other day of my insulin and insulin pump. I did not end up using the picture, but I think I know how you feel.

I have 2 medicines that I must take daily to stay alive and that produces a strange sense of gratitude and vulnerability.

I hope that you and your doctors can figure everything out and get you back (or as close as you can get) to your former self.

I know a bit about letting go of former vigor and vitality. Keep up the fight.


MaryD said...

your family is blessed by your presence and your love, and by your desire to hang in there with them even though it means lots of pills and other stuff that you wouldn't choose.

my dad left us at age 56 (16 years ago!) and we miss him still, it all came up so quickly and we didn't have anytime to know if he even wanted to fight it and continue to be there for us. (though i'm sure he would have.) your words and pictures are precious for your family now, and for all their days.

paula365 said...

Thank you for this post and for your transparency. Just thanks.

dali said...

Hang in there, Dirk. We'll be praying for you.


SusansPlace said...

I am rooting for you, Dirk! I hope 2007 brings renewed health for you!!

Your family is blessed.


jeff said...

Dirk-First, it is nice to see another husband here! Since I have not been on the forum with everyone here, I don't know anything about what is going on with you. My Brother has been suffering from what might be a similar, undiagnosed ailment. He is also on so much medication. He has no children, but he and his wife would like to...she has had a multitude of medical problems as well. It all seems to be a vicious circle which then, depression gets a hold of. It is great that spending time with your family seems to keep you going mentally, that is probably some of the best medicine.